


Why Didn’t You Choose Me?

by stopdrinkingitdown



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Introspection, Tim deserves more love, Written in response to the disaster that is heroes in crisis, in this house we hate Tom king
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 12:54:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19020337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stopdrinkingitdown/pseuds/stopdrinkingitdown
Summary: ”He didn’t choose me.” Tim blurts our while he still has the confidence. “I just... just showed up.”What Tim should have said at the Sanctuary.





	Why Didn’t You Choose Me?

Tim sat down, wiping sweaty palms on his uniform. He stared ahead and opened his mouth. And closed it. 

Open. 

Close. 

Open. 

Close. 

The words felt stuck in his throat. Like he’d just eaten a spoonful of peanut butter and now he could barely swallow. Thinking back he couldn’t even remember why he’d agreed to come here. Dick had said... something. Something about recklessness and “if you need to talk”. 

Which he didn’t. 

He was fine. 

And sure maybe he forgot backups of his gear or didn’t count the number of guns before engaging or maybe he didn’t have all the intel and yeah he hadn’t called for backup in a while. But. He was fine. They were mistakes and that was all. 

He’d tried to tell Dick as much and all he’d gotten in response was “you don’t make mistakes like that”. 

And then he couldn’t breath. 

Because all Tim could think about was begging Dick to listen when he said Bruce was alive. Dick had thought he was crazy- had said as much to Alfred- and then had the audacity to say that Tim didn’t make mistakes like that. 

There’s a vague memory of Tim agreeing to spend some time in the sanctuary. He’d been so desperate to get away from Dick, so unable to speak around the burning in his lungs. “Just a day or two, Tim? Please?” 

Well. 

That settles how he ended up here. Past-Tim didn’t have a lot of regard for Future-Tim’s feelings. 

Honestly Tim didn’t really know how the whole sanctuary thing worked. He was positive someone had explained it to him, but the last day-week-month has been a blur. He might as well say something. At least he won’t be lying if Dick asks whether or not he talked about anything. 

“He didn’t choose me.” Tim blurts our while he still has the confidence. “He choose  _everyone else._ Dick and Jason and Cass were just kids, and he specifically picked them out. Even Damian got chosen over me for Robin. And I just... just showed up. Some lonely kid who demanded a seat at the table. And I had a purpose in the beginning. I was gonna save Bruce. And I- I did you know? I was a good Robin and I pulled him out of his spiral. But now-“ He hesitates. The words don’t seem to want to come anymore. “But now everything... everything’s good. And I should be happy, right? I mean Dick and Damian are back. Jason and Bruce are on good terms. Cass is back in Gotham. Stephanie loves being Batgirl and she’s great at it. But no one really needs me anymore.” Tim puts his head in his hands, surprised when his hands come back wet. When had he started crying? 

“God. How- how messed up is that? I can’t even be happy for the people I love. All because there’s something inside me that’s seriously screwed up and I don’t know how to be happy. Kon and Bart are alive but I barely remember how to talk to them. Bruce has barely even looked at me in the last year and it’s all just-“ He has too many words now. It’s like a waterfall all trying to force its way out his throat at once. The words are caught now. Tangled and stuck on each other. 

Oh. 

_Oh._

He laughs a little broken laugh because  _he’s not okay._

Breath. 

Breath. Breath. Breath Breath. Breath Breath BreathBreathBreathBreathBreathBreathBreath.

Breath. 

He pulls out his phone and sends a quick text to Dick. 

<Hey i think im gonna stay @ the sanctuary for a few more days> 

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this real quick in response to the latest heroes in crisis. From the bottom of my heart: screw you Tom King. I’m not particularly proud of this but here you go.


End file.
